Irkutsk Ice Truckers

Back in November of 2018 this happened in St. Leo's dormitory, a horrible smell arrived, a mystery to behold. Yet what was it, and how was it to be resolved? Original Notice from Prefect/Judge King Judge King Kind friends and companions, I don't know if you've noticed, but the last few days a great stench has been growing in our dorm, but many of us already have, and it's not very pleasant. So please, if you know what the source of this stench is or how to neutralize it, for the sake of our whole community, step in and do something about it, or let me know so I can do something. We neither need nor ought to tolerate this kind of living condition. It will not help our educational pursuits, nor does it become men seeking virtue and excellence, such as ourselves. Let's stay committed to giving ourselves and each other an excellent living and learning environment. We are worthy of it. That's all. Have a good Sunday! -Nicklaus In fact, the smell is so ...

Andrew Russell and Dr. Zagorski premier their perfomance of "Legend and Glory", a signature WCCLE 5 staple. Watch now for free! Coming soon on our new album, Lost in Wonder. Download MP3 sample here Starring Dr. Michael AJ. Zagorski And Andrew Russell

Here at IIT "lower-forty-eight" headquarters in Lander, WY it has come to our attention that a mental disorder has been spreading across the W.C.C campus over the past two weeks or so. Known as ludusoperitia and first diagnosed February 11th by IIT Chief Rsearch Doctor, Dr. Michael AJ Zagorski, this dangerous disorder has weirdly spiked and taken on dozens of victims across the school. Dr. Michael AJ Zagorski Victims have a weird attraction to academic work, actually doing the required readings and assignments, have trouble sleeping as they want to continue studying, and have little social life, only interacting with others to communicate advanced geometrical concepts. The origin of this malady is still under investigation by our team of medical specialists, famous for their groundbreaking treatments last year of a mystery patient known only by his first initial "T". They suspect influence, however, of Heithoff's comments last week that "we are...

The professors at WCC are taken seriously, and this means hired seriously. But when Dr. Papadopoulos was taken on to teach, even the college wasn't exactly sure what they were getting themselves into. There is a past behind that mustache, as this classic John Wayne pose might help portray. But as the saying goes, "The pen is mightier than the rifle," and it seems that Papadopoulos has since realized this. It takes an will of iron to teach at a college, so perhaps WCC did right by hiring a gunman...er, penman. The search and thirst for knowledge regarding the history of our professors is strong, and day by day more is uncovered. There will be more to follow soon, so stay posted at our website: https://etbmugbug.blogspot.com/

Get there. Get back. Get away. Get home. Announcing: Ice Truck Yourself: There by Irkutsk. Simply order online with your name, destination, and credit card, get picked up by one of our brave drivers in an ice truck, and get there. Siberia by Ice Truck Our newest venture,   Ice Truck Yourself  allows anyone to experience the rocker world of ice trucking when you travel. get to any worldwide address by secure ice truck shipment for between $29.99 and $129.99. Rome: by Ice Truck How it works. Go to irkutskicetruckers.com/shipyourself , enter your current address and that of your destination. One of our drivers will come to your address, seal you into a box, and carry you away in the back of our fleet of adventuresome ice trucks.  Your space for your enjoyable week with us On the way, experience loud metalhead music played through one of our trucks fourteen speakers, an environment temperature controlled to between -50F and ...

At the suggestion of a board member Mr. Potato, Irkutsk Ice Truckers is now expanding its business operations to the comets. Comets - Yes they are made of ice! Comets are made of ice and an important stepping stone to the mineral wealth of the solar system that IIT hopes to exploit with our new Space mining arm, Irkutsk Ice and Metal Mining. Comets will be our literal stepping stone from the earth to the asteroids and back, a sort of "free ride" to transport our mined raw materials with the new Acme Flying Saucer developed in secret by Russian scientists and with the designs procured by our long-standing association with the Wyoming IRA and their technical experts and spies. Materials will be mined from asteroids by our freshman rockers to the tune of "The Distance" and loaded into our Acme fleet where they will be temporarily stored on comets as part of the process of retrieval, riding the comet until they reach a position near the earth, from whence anot...

In an exclusive interview with the leader of the Wyoming I.R.A, he denied all responsibility or involvement with Wednesday's chip explosion bombing of St. John's. "We're innocent on this one. I believe it was actually a suicide bombing by a John's member to put the blame on Athanasius" he said. This is still possible, we note as IIT has yet to have fully investigated the situation and account for all of John's members, but there is as yet little evidence in any direction. The IRA plans to make an official press release soon with all information they have, and their official position on the matter.

Further dividing an already factioned school, Heithoff's thesis oration today ended unexpectedly with remarks that "we are primarily an academic institution". This statement comes to the great disappointment of many outdoor lovers who were looking for at least some balance from the current senior class. "He's entitled to his personal opinion, but what he said was simply not true" one observer commented.  "We are both an outdoor and an academic institution." Don't be fooled, these are NOLSEYs Adding to his surprise remarks, Heithoff gave subtle support to the idea of a Catholic theocracy,  something that also provokes great division externally as many NOLSEYs plan protests, angry at his remarks given right next to their operation. "This hurts the image of Lander," one said. "How can we get liberals to come here for our galas if we have to live right next to a Catholic community." IIT advises extra caution this wee...

St. John's Dormitory according to a contraband I-Phone photographer who wishes to remain anonymous Yesterday, February 20th at around 9:40 AM MST several witnesses reported hearing a humming noise followed by a loud bang emanating from the St. John's dormitory. While it remains unconfirmed, the dormitory site is supposedly now under lock-down by the student life office and their have been several reports that the dorm is completely gone. No injuries are reported and while members of St. John's could not be reached at press time, feelings about the incident are mixed elsewhere: "We're actually kind of happy about it over here," says a resident of St. Athanasius , a rival dorm located across the street from St. John's, when he heard of the destruction. "We sustained little damage, and we have the positive of knowing our little rivals at John's can't strike back at us." While our reporters have as yet not been able to fully sur...

Although he was found and returned after his escapades with the infamous Lost Boys Fifth Regiment, Cyril A. Patton is rumored to have been missing for months from his dormitory at WCC, St. Leo's. Multiple sources admit to not seeing him for long periods of time without explanation and a "Missing Roommate" sign was even on display for a time. While recent reports indicate that he has communicated with school officials this month about permanently leaving the school, and so has been "found", the question remains, how could a student have gone missing for months without explanation? I.I.T. plans to investigate the matter further amid further reports that there was an unidentified student present for months at another undisclosed location. Could these be the same location, and if then, what prompted his absence/transference? A connection to reports that both St. Leo's and this [redacted] location were haunted by the ghost of William Albers, wh...

Before a packed crowd of attendees, Nick King's Senior Thesis Oration on the virtues of dancing ended on a surpising note as the acclaimed WCC liturgist asserted in repsonse to a question that "there is no way to denounce liturgical dance in all circumstances". This astounding answer to a question of visiting Mr. T. Woods was a surprise to many attendees who found themselves even more confused when panelist Dr. Kent Lasnoski offered no rebuttal and in fact supported Nick's point with a comparison of liturgical ministers' movements to a form of dancing. Approved? Unrelated to his first unscripted (as far as is known at press time) comment, Nick was speechless when questioned about the Prague 16th Century dancing calamity where dozens literally danced themselves to death. Says an anonomyous scholarly critic in comment about the tragedy: "There are dark supernatural powers tapped into by dance. Dance awakens the supernatural, but ambigously." While ...

Now offered by Professor Joe Nemec, MTL 102 : Philosphy of Metal is the first course IIT now sponsors in cooperation with Wyoming Catholic College. Professor Joe Nemec Through a hands-on rocker approach, Professor Nemec will teach WCC Freshman the basics of metal, the philosophy of the same and how one can live as a Catholic metalhead. See what students are learning right here with the MTL102 Syllabus . His latest course Professor Joe Nemec, new to WCC this year, is also be teaching in the Russel track ARL 102 this semester and will teach ARL 201 next semester Some thought-provoking reading selection packets from Nemec's courses

How often do we run off to Frassati after classes in an angered rush to get onto a Mass shuttle? If you aren't one of the few school drivers - you have to wait - and upon the generosity of someone else: like one of these fine "Van Men". THE VAN MAN Facing the terrible prospect of arriving late, fighting stop signs, fighting the complaints others make about running into stop signs, waiting for people to extract their backpacks from the school van, having to enforce school policies, and so on, the  WCC SUPERHERO THE VAN MAN FORWARDS DO WE NEED ONE MORE SHUTTLE? Yes, beating the enemy called the one mile from Frat to Mass Doing it daily. Doing it safely. THE VAN MAN Nick King (Photo Courtesy Anthony Jones) Andrew Theodore (Photo Courtesy Anthony Jones) Carlos Take some time to thank your Van-Men. Thanks to their generous work we're able to offer you Mass Passes for only $5 a month plus applicable fees, taxes, and temple ...

Irkutsk Ice Truckers is pleased to expand its buisness operations and news commentary with expert knowledge from an "Average Muslim Liturgist". Having just joined our team of freshman rockers, but with much experience within our community, he will bring much needed diversity to our staff and intellectual outlook. One of the past activities of Average Muslim Liturgist's rich resume As a Muslim liturgist, he will also be involved in a related enterprise, the Cult of the Tree of Life, offering culture and experience to their liturgical and theological development. Contact him today at AverageLiturgist@irkutskicetruckers.com  and stay tuned for his groundbreaking analysis right here on IrkutskIceTruckers.com .

It was quite a mixed night for one Matthew T. Kubisch - and in mixed ways. Fresh off from winning several competitions at a Wyoming Catholic College speed dating event - in a turkey costume no less, he returned last Friday night to his apartment to terror for himself - in the inspiration of the muses upon the Sophomore class. He was forcibly removed from his apartment and offered as a sacrificial offering to the goddesses of their sister dorm, who promptly had mercy upon him and released him from his bondage. An adventure, no, just part of our vibrant cult life here at Irkutsk Ice Truckers where affiliated organizations run the cult of John Wayne, the cult of dorm raids, the Evangelium Andreii, and the like. At the same time as Matthew's escapades, Bernadette (one of them) tried to elope with Michael the Rosie before nearly a hundred assembled students. It didn't go well and we feel sorry for them, but please don't take this as a sign that speed d...

THE Legion Continuing our long-standing tradition of supporting the social and liberal arts, Irkutsk Ice Truckers is now proud to be an official sponsor of the unofficial W.C.C. Sudo-C Sophomore Club. The official sudo-dating club of WCC! Also sometimes known as the "Legion" from its founding members, this club meets almost daily in Baldwin Room C. Join today with your date, and you don't even have to be a member of the current sophomore class, just pretend to be one. Baldwin C - Home of the club Only requirements: 1. Be a W.C.C. Student 2. Have a date with you (though this is just studying - riiight....?) 3. Quote-study in Baldwin C Join somewhere between four and a dozen members today!

In a new regular section on Irkutsk Ice Truckers we'll feature flashback articles of famous events from our world from the dark ages of before we existed. today's goes back all the way to September of 2018, when the ultimate question of when and where khaki pants can be rightly worn was hotly debated. Ultimately the position of John Malinoski prevailed, but it was a long and contentious matter. Is this right? Here is the text of his challenge Dear freshmen (and sophomores who have been subsequently dragged into the conversation), It has come to my attention that one of our classmates, Matthew Kubisch, has been attempting to spread the ill-founded rumor that to wear khaki pants with black dress shoes is an abomination. As we all know, this is objectively untrue, and, as a result, he has understandably been facing much resistance. However, the situation has been escalating gradually over the past 4 days--many of you have indeed been a part of it--and I feel it is necessa...

I am going to keep this brief. I really do not want to be that person , but it is something that I have observed recently, and it is becoming a problem. And not your regular problem, no, this is becoming a HUGE problem. No one likes it when there is water spilled everywhere, leastwise me. We all hate it when we go in and start slipping everywhere because someone did not do it right. I’m serious. If you are going to dive, don’t. There are no experts at this college, except maybe John-John, so you have no excuse to do it. When you dive, water spills all over the place and it isn’t pleasant. Also, this includes no jumping, no pencils, and especially no cannonballs. Another point. Is there actually a thrill in such an activity? Can you actually say that you enjoy diving? What is the use once you get in there? There is nothing to see, nothing to do; all you will be able to brag about is that you accidentally swallowed a bit more than you wanted. So again, please, I beg of yo...

Announcing our new social media heavy metal replacement for your Google+, Facebook, etc. etc. accounts. FaceTruck by IIT - Keep up with your metalhead friends, prospects, propositions and news. Register today for a new experience at  Facetruck.net The reviews are extraordinary - rated 4.9 out of 5 stars on the Irkutsk App Store Joseph Nemec - "Totally cool, fam, way better than my 15 year-old Google Plus account." Try it today!

Hello My Fellow Rowdy Running-Off-Caffeine Rockers, As you start your Herodotus essay here in the next hour or so, I've thought of a few good questions to bear in mind as you read through his deeply intriguing 842-page work for the first time. I personally found these helpful as I started my outline: 1. What should I wear to Maryanne's baking party tonight? I've put this question first because it is the most important to be addressed. Recall that Maryanne is a judgmental individual who would be offended if you showed up wearing your knight costume, Michel. So dress nice, and stay classy my friends. An important follow-up is: 2. Should I bring a gift? This particular one I struggled with for a while. I mean there's going to be like a million people there so I dont need a gift right but what if theres not omg I don't want her to be mad at me but I don't have money and she judges people and then she might know that im not rich and thats why im at WCC ...

Wyoming Catholic now apparently faces a terrible epidemic of missing items and email messages that may or may not be related to those items actually missing. With confusion over which are true, good, and beautiful, and which are bad and ugly, the combination of the horror of loss and this confusion has been causing nothing but distraction, discord, and distress. Today, however, and from a redacted tip, IIT has received the following cryptic communication: According to the Mikerosoft-Antipersonnel- Virus-Recognition-Hardware 3.6.2, some robot has been installed within the campus internet access and is duplicating the electronic signatures of sent messages and saving passwords, and is spreading data; manipulating you humans. I mean, US humans.    No one has yet suspected the true source and impact of this danger until now and while our investigators work to find the perpetrator's purpose please be extra careful in all e-mail communications. No one is safe. Watch all you...

Hello my Fellow Rowdy Catholic Rockers, Today is the day to make your move on the metalhead woman of your dreams. Since I know that some of my fellow brethren struggle in regards to making making the first move, I thought I'd share some tips from my past experience with members of the female metalhead community. 1. Get a Big Guitar I know this may sound weak, but it works. 2. Wear a Tin Foil Hat Aluminum and tin both work similiarly, but a metalhead hat trully helps you show that cerebrum off. Tin around Baldwin to "Stray Cat Strut" ... 3. Get an EbMugBug and Bros Mug Shot Do it, show off your new style!  etbmugbug.com 4. Become an Irkutsk Ice Truckers contributor Show 'the one' that you have what it takes to be part of the "bravest Metal there is". Email us at sales@irkutskicetruckers.com 5. Hang out in the new Pseudo-C-Sophmore Clubhouse Once you've swept her away to the beat, study philosophy together in Baldwin rooms C...

Yee Ol' Archbishop Beckman Annoucing today our new association with ETB MugBug and Bros, experts at phototography, mug shots and more. Having long shared a similiar philosophy and goals we now plan to work together for our goal of making everyone into the best metalhead of themself. Ernie Thee Bass, founder and CEO will be a regular contributor to IrkutskIceTruckers.com and we plan to feature his work here on a regular base. More details to come of our new buisness partnership, but for now you can visit Ernie's website at:  etbmugbug.com

Irkutsk Ice Truckers is pleased to announce our latest addition to our growing staff, Dr. Mikolaj Zagorski (a.k.a. The Oregunion). Dr. Zagorski has years of experience in adriubatic thumping treatments and famous for his groundbreaking treatments of Timmy, will launch our medical division IrkutskIceCare. A metalhead "North Pole" Dr. Zagorski is a great fit for our growing portfolio of businesses and will be involved quite widely beyond IceCare in our worldwide operations. Again, we welcome Dr. Zagorski to our team!

Full outfit for a dance sourced by IIT for only $39 with ice-truck delivery - Elsewhere: $256 The new way to "not-buy", sourcing engineering by Irkutsk Ice Truckers. Next time you plan to go to the store to buy something, don't, look no further than IrkutskIceTruckers.com. After years of research developing infinitesimal spy radar devices that we have distributed through our front company Plastic Rocker Bags Inc. we are now pleased to announce a new way to source materials, things, anything! Our radar spy devices have with proprietary technology inventoried the contents of millions of homes in 'Merca, Siberia, the supposed land of Canada and more. This works by radar scans of each home being relayed to our Alaska headquarters by a hidden relay application installed on most of the phones and computers of the homes we have scanned. Next we process the data into our now 458 TB database where a revolutionary new system corresponds objects in the radar maps of ...

Was this so-called dance event really a dance, or a deadly reenactment of the Roman Circuses? With the widespread news reports of teenage actors performing fire juggling stunts and a rumor that a participant in the freshman dance was seriously injured, one wonders what other dangers were avoided (or narrowly so)? Leaked imagery of the mystery fire juggling pair Great secrecy was apparently in force for the planning and set-up of the event. Does that make sense if there really was nothing to hide? And apparently there was a game that included people paying to throw heavy weighted objects at a man's head - they called it the pithing booth or something of the sort. View this "pithing booth" here There appears in fact to be a person in between these two performers or .... ? Write with your comments below or write to everett.polinski@irkutskicetruckers.com if you want to see this potentially criminal activity examined and exposed.