Skip to main content

Explosion/Attack on St. John's

Image
By
St. John's Dormitory according to a contraband I-Phone photographer who wishes to remain anonymous
Yesterday, February 20th at around 9:40 AM MST several witnesses reported hearing a humming noise followed by a loud bang emanating from the St. John's dormitory. While it remains unconfirmed, the dormitory site is supposedly now under lock-down by the student life office and their have been several reports that the dorm is completely gone.

No injuries are reported and while members of St. John's could not be reached at press time, feelings about the incident are mixed elsewhere: "We're actually kind of happy about it over here," says a resident of St. Athanasius , a rival dorm located across the street from St. John's, when he heard of the destruction. "We sustained little damage, and we have the positive of knowing our little rivals at John's can't strike back at us."

While our reporters have as yet not been able to fully survey the scene, a witness reported seeing shattered fragments everywhere of St. John's secret tortilla chip supply, suggesting that this supposed explosion began in their laundry room, where they are reported to have stored their (stolen?) tortilla chips in a contraband Frassati plastic container.

Although the source of the explosion is still under investigation, an informant from St. Josemaria's suggests that the Wyoming I.R.A., angered over new policies from the WCC Student Life Office could have played a role. Also suspect is St. Johns, given the above feelings expressed by one of its members, but residents of St. Leo's, also next to John's claim they had no role in the explosion and "offer their condolences to those shocked by the events and looking for answers" as Sean Norton, a Leo's resident said.

Members of St. John's sister dorm, St. Joan's also could not be reached for comment.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular

New Serious WCC Freshman Endeavor

By
Freshmen Anne and Emily, aiming to redeem opinions of the Class of 2022 from being solely satirical and unserious, have launched a serious project, a blog named the Barnabus Project About it: The Barnabas Project is a blog by and for the Wyoming Catholic College class of 2022. It’s a kind of combined lit-mag and indie coffee shop; it’s a site for philosophical musings on what we’re reading and thinking about, photography from our vacations, poetry and short stories, or basically anything. A little background: at the end of COR, we had a program at campfire called The Barnabas Project in which we, in a way, prepared to face the challenges of being a student. As we face the challenges of summer, this blog will be a small oasis of WCC culture against the tumultuous ocean of the wider world. Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton   View it here: https://wyclassof2022.home.blog/ To contribute (if you're a Freshmore ), find Anne's email ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ban the Joe: Get Joe to Come Here

By
The symbol of the cause Many WCC students are mourning the loss of Joe B. to University of Dallas. A promising member of the spring Founders draft, many were looking forward to him joining the Class of 2023. Banjo Guy as he is called, has reportedly committed to attending the University of Dallas near his Texas hometown, in a decision largely predicated upon the attendance there of many of his friends. But never fear, it's not too late! "It's not up to him whether he comes or not," was the simple conclusion from a high-level meeting of the new WCC Future Student Decision Council. Simply, that means that as everyone wants him here, he can't just decide to go elsewhere. Everyone wants him to come here, but how, one might ask, do we change this horrible decision? There are multiple ways to be sure, but to begin, we're collecting signatures as part of a national BAN-JO campaign. Ban does not mean ban in the typical sense of disallowing, but is h...
Post a Comment
Read more

FaceTruck by IIT

By
Announcing our new social media heavy metal replacement for your Google+, Facebook, etc. etc. accounts. FaceTruck by IIT - Keep up with your metalhead friends, prospects, propositions and news. Register today for a new experience at  Facetruck.net The reviews are extraordinary - rated 4.9 out of 5 stars on the Irkutsk App Store Joseph Nemec - "Totally cool, fam, way better than my 15 year-old Google Plus account." Try it today!
Post a Comment
Read more