Skip to main content

Results are in: IIT Hair-Growing Service Delivers!



A new study, sponsored by IIT and the Coca-Cola Beverage Institute for Health and Wellness, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows that IIT's new hair-growing service delivers on the intended results!

Thirty WCC men, for some reason, volunteered to participate in our study pitting Fuzzy Wuzzy Hair Growth Formula against time and/or wigs. This top-secret formula, brewed in our labs in Frankfurt, Germany, is composed of liquid vanadium, siracha sauce, chicken beaks, green glitter glue, and Lindt 90% Cacao dark chocolate. Obviously we can't tell you what's in it, because it's secret, but we can assure customers that it is all-natural, non-GMO, American-made, and Free-range.

As you can clearly see from the charts below, hair growth in the formula group exceeded growth in the control group by 9 inches, and saw an increased growth rate as the study went on. Also, customer satisfaction in the formula group was higher than in the control group, with a 68.9% increase in "highly satisfied" customers. Interestingly enough, the group asked to wear wigs saw the fastest yet most stagnant growth and highest customer satisfaction.

To conclude, further research is necessary to explain this anomaly. Recommendations from the team of esteemed scientists who conducted this study? Sign up for Irkutsk Ice Truckers Hair Growing Service today!







Comments

Popular

MetalMatch: Dating - By Irkutsk

Find your true metalhead love - now made easier by MetalMatch by IIT Simply input your information and we set you up with a guaranteed shot at your choice of "pseudo-dating", dating, or our new special of "anti-Pseudo" dating where you are guaranteed a fake dating relationship that you can show off even though it's really all fake. Visit https://everettpolinski.wixsite.com/icedate Or write to date@irkutskicetruckers.com IIT wants you to have the best heavy-metal castle relationship possible and will do everything we can to get you a successful relationship. New statistical and geometric methods improve the accuracy of our matchmaking program while surveillance efforts around the WCC campus track results in real time. Our satisfied customers include Dr. Grove, Peter Fay, Anselm, Sophia Donaldson, and our very own Aretari Polinski. Date today!

Tetonic Blast

Part 1 of Tetonic Blast our new video series, is now available. Only available on  irkutskicetruckers.com Watch today to discover the true story of WCCLE V, the new epic drama of society, faith, cults, gangs, terror, fear, lost in the tectonically active wilderness. Rated PG-13 for violent portrayals of catastrophe of what actually happened. Trailer Full Video (Part I)

Ruthie's Family

Ruth "baking" from an undercover Frassati spy #Fratleaks While Ruth's "Possee" may have returned last week to their homes near the Eastern shores fair, new questions are emerging about the purpose for their visit and have kept them, and Ruth herself in the spotlight.  Read our first report on their visit:  "Ruth's Posse" Swoops Into Lander: Who Are They Really? Even before the Possee returned they sent a recorded song to members of a "family of Ruth". A little had been disclosed on this social unit during their visit, but we never realized until after they left just how much of a "family" she has, assuming the family, like the visitors, is real in some sense, and not just another set of hired actors. Of course, Ruth has a family , which visited at Thanksgiving, last year, so any assumption that one is real in the traditional sense would likely then preclude that the other from being real. What then is it that ...