Skip to main content

Hotel Vacuum Brings Joy As it Stays Found

Image
By
Joy from this - Ohh yeah!
In what is being called a historic moment for the school's cleanliness, the one working vacuum between the two hotel dorms has finally been "found" for longer than a day. "Its great to finally not have to awkwardly ask Mari all the time or knock on the door of the women's dorm every time I need it," says Freshman Jack White. "I made this super cool looking poster and... people actually listened or saw." 

While of course it is sometimes in use when someone else needs it, the new accidental state of the grey hotel vacuum has brought much rejoicing to a people in the darkness of grime. "I remember the time last month when it went missing for two weeks," Jack continues, "The place was awful, I'd call it a pigsty, but then there's always the danger that people with 'dead souls' would think I was speaking literally. Everyone was calling it the WCCLE 5 vacuum because it was always gone
Two copies of this poster on the
Hotel vacuum seem to have done the trick
Some women have complained, however, that keeping the vacuum in the commonly accessible hotel "MacNCheese" room has caused crowding problems during peak dating and social hours, but Jack says "Cleanliness is next to Godliness, and I never heard them say anything about crowding, so... ." No one seems then to care of these complaints, as overall joy and sunshine has returned to a place which once had only caked mud and trash to find meaning in. "I think my spiritual life has improved," offers Sophomore Thomas Massoth of Texas. "I don't have to deal with all those pizza monuments stacked in the hallway (apparently this is more of an Athanasius thing than a hotel thing but the point stands).

Irkutsk Ice Truckers offers a free ice-truck ice delivery to any who can double upon this joy by finding a second vacuum to eliminate the need to even worry about sharing. "RFID tags and radio-laser beacons will revolutionize tool ability, and its coming next year," promises IIT engineer Aretari Polinski.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular

MetalMatch: Dating - By Irkutsk

By
Find your true metalhead love - now made easier by MetalMatch by IIT Simply input your information and we set you up with a guaranteed shot at your choice of "pseudo-dating", dating, or our new special of "anti-Pseudo" dating where you are guaranteed a fake dating relationship that you can show off even though it's really all fake. Visit https://everettpolinski.wixsite.com/icedate Or write to date@irkutskicetruckers.com IIT wants you to have the best heavy-metal castle relationship possible and will do everything we can to get you a successful relationship. New statistical and geometric methods improve the accuracy of our matchmaking program while surveillance efforts around the WCC campus track results in real time. Our satisfied customers include Dr. Grove, Peter Fay, Anselm, Sophia Donaldson, and our very own Aretari Polinski. Date today!
Post a Comment
Read more

Sourcing Engineering by Irkutsk Ice Truckers:

By
Full outfit for a dance sourced by IIT for only $39 with ice-truck delivery - Elsewhere: $256 The new way to "not-buy", sourcing engineering by Irkutsk Ice Truckers. Next time you plan to go to the store to buy something, don't, look no further than IrkutskIceTruckers.com. After years of research developing infinitesimal spy radar devices that we have distributed through our front company Plastic Rocker Bags Inc. we are now pleased to announce a new way to source materials, things, anything! Our radar spy devices have with proprietary technology inventoried the contents of millions of homes in 'Merca, Siberia, the supposed land of Canada and more. This works by radar scans of each home being relayed to our Alaska headquarters by a hidden relay application installed on most of the phones and computers of the homes we have scanned. Next we process the data into our now 458 TB database where a revolutionary new system corresponds objects in the radar maps of ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Gender Neutral Patronages: School To House Men in Dorm Consecrated to St. Scholastica

By
St. Scholastica In a move that has proved quite shocking to some, the shake-up so recently announced among WCC dormitories for next year has included transgender patronages. A current women's dorm consecrated to St. Scholastica will become next year a men's dorm, forcing men to be under the patronage of a female saint. Seemingly innocuous, a few find it unbearable, however. "It's horrendous", says WCC student Michael Olsson concerning the planned development. "I don't know what kind of Theology department we have that would sign off on something like this." He is referring to the news out today that this decision to keep the dorm consecrated to St. Scholastica came from the decision of unnamed Theology professors. "You can't switch names around wildly you say", continues Michael. "Then why did they switch Josemaria's from what is now Theresa's to the hotel?" he asks. "You switched names last time. Now w...
Post a Comment
Read more