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Hotel Vacuum Brings Joy As it Stays Found

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Joy from this - Ohh yeah!
In what is being called a historic moment for the school's cleanliness, the one working vacuum between the two hotel dorms has finally been "found" for longer than a day. "Its great to finally not have to awkwardly ask Mari all the time or knock on the door of the women's dorm every time I need it," says Freshman Jack White. "I made this super cool looking poster and... people actually listened or saw." 

While of course it is sometimes in use when someone else needs it, the new accidental state of the grey hotel vacuum has brought much rejoicing to a people in the darkness of grime. "I remember the time last month when it went missing for two weeks," Jack continues, "The place was awful, I'd call it a pigsty, but then there's always the danger that people with 'dead souls' would think I was speaking literally. Everyone was calling it the WCCLE 5 vacuum because it was always gone
Two copies of this poster on the
Hotel vacuum seem to have done the trick
Some women have complained, however, that keeping the vacuum in the commonly accessible hotel "MacNCheese" room has caused crowding problems during peak dating and social hours, but Jack says "Cleanliness is next to Godliness, and I never heard them say anything about crowding, so... ." No one seems then to care of these complaints, as overall joy and sunshine has returned to a place which once had only caked mud and trash to find meaning in. "I think my spiritual life has improved," offers Sophomore Thomas Massoth of Texas. "I don't have to deal with all those pizza monuments stacked in the hallway (apparently this is more of an Athanasius thing than a hotel thing but the point stands).

Irkutsk Ice Truckers offers a free ice-truck ice delivery to any who can double upon this joy by finding a second vacuum to eliminate the need to even worry about sharing. "RFID tags and radio-laser beacons will revolutionize tool ability, and its coming next year," promises IIT engineer Aretari Polinski.


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