Bubbles are Now Approved Liturgical Blessing

Lander/Dusseldorf- After two WCC freshmen performed the practice of liturgical bubble blessing a week ago, several German bishops have declared that bubbles are an acceptable form of blessing during and outside liturgies.

Cardinal Günter Schuster of Dusseldorf, Germany announced today in a joint statement with six other German bishops that "all priests are open to being truly welcoming this weekend with an invigorating and modern liturgy that will bring all to love."

His instructions of a "truly welcoming" liturgy included to the surprise of many WCC students who had received the blessing of Darius and Sarah but never could have guessed that bishops were thinking the same thing.

"I must admit I was a little skeptical of the idea at first," says Freshman Rocker JohnJohn, "I mean I'm all about inclusion, but for some reason, I thought bubbles were kind of excluding. I guess I was wrong though with Cardinal Schuster's announcement. Either I've really been sleeping through those classes here on tradition, to have missed that this was such a great idea. or we got some real power here over the church."

IIT's Staff Average Muslim Liturgist comments, however, that the idea is new to Catholicism, but is part of the Cardinal's outreach to Muslim's for whom bubbles have been a tradition for centuries. "It symbolizes the goal of making their enemies as like bubbles which they can easily pop. The Cardinal test-ran  a similar idea with light-sabers instead of candles at the Easter vigil last month and thinks this will boost his popular support among Muslims as the last attempt did with youth.

At press time, neither Darius nor Sarah have commented on the influence many see them as having in the church through a supposed connection between these events. However, Darius is reportedly now receiving Holy Communion while kneeling on the tongue. If Cardinal Schuster follows through with this idea, suggesting it to his priests, IIT editors think this connection will be worth further investigation.

Until then, it might mean nothing.