Skip to main content

As You Study for Theology

Dr. Holmes at QuisQuid last February

So tomorrow is the big day we've all neglected to study for. But there's nothing to worry about. We still have a whopping fourteen hours till we even have to start worrying about it, that is, the theology final.

However, if you're one of those people, who are more concerned with the intellectual than with the obviously superior lifestyle of procrastination, here are a few tips to make your experience better.

1. Listen to It Dain't Exist by the ever-popular metal band Nobody: 
The rhythmic chords and irregular beat of this ever popular song are sure to jolt your mind into thinking. Just be sure to turn it up loud and rock to the beat as you "study"

2. Find Dr. Holmes with a crowd of other eagerly "studying" students and ask him to answer the questions for you.
Yes it works! as we found out today, though unfortunately, it might be too late now for that now. Or you could write him an email like an IIT staff member did, and hope for an answer.

3. Ask Omnisciens (or Omniscientes):
These are those people in the extreme, the ones who always have the answer and are often called by the name Omnisicens. Pretty sure most at WCC will know whom we are talking about.

4. Sleep:
Dream about studying and write about whatever you dreamt about tomorrow. Maybe put a few words in like "ambiguous signs", "formal object", or "etiology" just to make it look good.

5. Shout "Help, please somebody help" at the top of your lungs
Hope someone hears, Omnisciens might come, or an upperclassman, or if you're not so lucky, a prefect. Try this one with caution.

Here's a little more studying music if you're interested:

Study "laetans" like,

Everett

Comments

Popular

MetalMatch: Dating - By Irkutsk

Find your true metalhead love - now made easier by MetalMatch by IIT Simply input your information and we set you up with a guaranteed shot at your choice of "pseudo-dating", dating, or our new special of "anti-Pseudo" dating where you are guaranteed a fake dating relationship that you can show off even though it's really all fake. Visit https://everettpolinski.wixsite.com/icedate Or write to date@irkutskicetruckers.com IIT wants you to have the best heavy-metal castle relationship possible and will do everything we can to get you a successful relationship. New statistical and geometric methods improve the accuracy of our matchmaking program while surveillance efforts around the WCC campus track results in real time. Our satisfied customers include Dr. Grove, Peter Fay, Anselm, Sophia Donaldson, and our very own Aretari Polinski. Date today!

Sourcing Engineering by Irkutsk Ice Truckers:

Full outfit for a dance sourced by IIT for only $39 with ice-truck delivery - Elsewhere: $256 The new way to "not-buy", sourcing engineering by Irkutsk Ice Truckers. Next time you plan to go to the store to buy something, don't, look no further than IrkutskIceTruckers.com. After years of research developing infinitesimal spy radar devices that we have distributed through our front company Plastic Rocker Bags Inc. we are now pleased to announce a new way to source materials, things, anything! Our radar spy devices have with proprietary technology inventoried the contents of millions of homes in 'Merca, Siberia, the supposed land of Canada and more. This works by radar scans of each home being relayed to our Alaska headquarters by a hidden relay application installed on most of the phones and computers of the homes we have scanned. Next we process the data into our now 458 TB database where a revolutionary new system corresponds objects in the radar maps of ...

Gender Neutral Patronages: School To House Men in Dorm Consecrated to St. Scholastica

St. Scholastica In a move that has proved quite shocking to some, the shake-up so recently announced among WCC dormitories for next year has included transgender patronages. A current women's dorm consecrated to St. Scholastica will become next year a men's dorm, forcing men to be under the patronage of a female saint. Seemingly innocuous, a few find it unbearable, however. "It's horrendous", says WCC student Michael Olsson concerning the planned development. "I don't know what kind of Theology department we have that would sign off on something like this." He is referring to the news out today that this decision to keep the dorm consecrated to St. Scholastica came from the decision of unnamed Theology professors. "You can't switch names around wildly you say", continues Michael. "Then why did they switch Josemaria's from what is now Theresa's to the hotel?" he asks. "You switched names last time. Now w...