Skip to main content

Senior's Plans: Pete's Pizza

"Because with Fay, you know your pizza is on the way!"

Its nearing graduation for the Class of 2019 and Irkutsk Ice Truckers thought it would look a little look into what the outgoing Senior's career plans are.

Thus we begin with Peter Fay, the current esteemed prefect at St. Athanasius. A musical man whom many might even call risible, Peter, is everyone's favorite guitar player. Although a scandal has involved his band Soul Butter, he has apparently been cleared from knowledge or involvement in "Drumgate", thus leaving in high esteem. He has had little import into the WCC dating scene but that may all change with a new Pizza "hangout" restaurant he's launching immediately after graduation.

Pete's Pizza opens May 14th behind St. Athanasius. While a surprise to most, given that Peter has been very reticent about his career plans, this new venture is actually very much in character for him. Pete has had a long attachment to pizza (possibly what he has dated instead of...) as does his whole dorm, as profiled last week on our partner website ETBmugbugandBros. He and his dorm thrive off of pizza, the "circle of champions" as they call it, making Pete a ready expert on the path to actually making his own pizza.

Already, Peter and St. Athanasius have constructed several monuments to their own glory and that of pizza out of --- pizza boxes. Even what's shown above is just a small "slice" (get it?) of their collection, but Pete promises even more as decoration for his new gourmet operation.

"We plan to cater particularly to St. Athanasius," Pete says. "They have an almost unlimited demand for pizza and I bet they'll buy even more when we open up right next door." 

Asked how much his pizza would cost, Pete was reticent, but rumors suggest a 14 in large pizza will go for around $8 to $10. Pete is still planning out his menu, so we don't know everything he will offer, but other St. Athanasius members are excited about special combos such as the "Raid Victory Supreme", "Odorous Disaster", or "John Wayne".

The one and only "Bigfoot" is expected to be the restaurants first delivery driver, using what Pete describes as a "miracle of ancient science, a real authentic flying saucer, to make your pizza truly on the way." The strange appearance of Bigfoot shouldn't be a concern, however, as Peter continues, "Don't be afraid of him. He just likes his pepperoni pizza too, just like everyone else."

Other dorms should watch out as rumors have also been received that the whole restaurant is just a cover for a project to further assist their standing in dorm raids, as pizza boxes and high-temperature sauce can be used as weapons.



Pete's Pizza
"Because with Fay, you know your pizza is on the way!"


Comments

Popular

Ban the Joe: Get Joe to Come Here

The symbol of the cause Many WCC students are mourning the loss of Joe B. to University of Dallas. A promising member of the spring Founders draft, many were looking forward to him joining the Class of 2023. Banjo Guy as he is called, has reportedly committed to attending the University of Dallas near his Texas hometown, in a decision largely predicated upon the attendance there of many of his friends. But never fear, it's not too late! "It's not up to him whether he comes or not," was the simple conclusion from a high-level meeting of the new WCC Future Student Decision Council. Simply, that means that as everyone wants him here, he can't just decide to go elsewhere. Everyone wants him to come here, but how, one might ask, do we change this horrible decision? There are multiple ways to be sure, but to begin, we're collecting signatures as part of a national BAN-JO campaign. Ban does not mean ban in the typical sense of disallowing, but is h...

MetalMatch: Dating - By Irkutsk

Find your true metalhead love - now made easier by MetalMatch by IIT Simply input your information and we set you up with a guaranteed shot at your choice of "pseudo-dating", dating, or our new special of "anti-Pseudo" dating where you are guaranteed a fake dating relationship that you can show off even though it's really all fake. Visit https://everettpolinski.wixsite.com/icedate Or write to date@irkutskicetruckers.com IIT wants you to have the best heavy-metal castle relationship possible and will do everything we can to get you a successful relationship. New statistical and geometric methods improve the accuracy of our matchmaking program while surveillance efforts around the WCC campus track results in real time. Our satisfied customers include Dr. Grove, Peter Fay, Anselm, Sophia Donaldson, and our very own Aretari Polinski. Date today!

School Released Couple Chart With Errors

New details are emerging today about how April's Student Couple Chart had several "very obvious mistakes". Assembled as it always is by the WCC student life office, they, however, missed some "very obvious couples" this time in assembling their quarterly report. How could they have missed them?" questions Fr. Olar about a couple that had been together for 5 Days  by the time the chart was put together. "Surely all the new technology the school has paid for should have caught something as obvious as this couple when they were sitting together every day in Mass." "Its an abhorrence against the cosmic order," says Sophomore Sophia Donaldson about these very obvious mistakes. "Some friends and I went through and drew all the connections between the couples on the chart. And there lies the problem, we had to draw them. Shouldn't they have been obvious just from looking at it?"  Above is a redacted image of t...